urghhh.
somebody shoot me
this restlessness is killing me.

why cant anyone understand me
i am not desperate to get a boyfriend.
i dont want a boyfriend.
i just want him and only him.
means im not gona replace him with some dude just because i cant get over him.

i know it was so long ago.

but thats just me.

what if i feel that hes the only one for me.
do you think i care whether he still likes me or ignores me or likes some other girl.
okay actually maybe i do.
because love only happens when two people are in love.
but i cant help it.
i am really trying.

i dont mean to be the most posessive ex-girlfriend who spams her exboyfriend's phone when she already has no clue what is going on his life, whether her existence matters to him, whether she should get a life.
unfortunately i am.

unfortunately i am.


i dont care.
i am going to wait.
even if theres a tsunami or h1n1 or god knows what i am going to wait.

the problem is just how to shut up while waiting.

i cant stop complaining.

because life without you, is shit.

Kelsey - Metrostation

So take one word you said
you put it in your bed
you rest your tiny head on your pillow
you wonder where you're going next
you got your head pushed to my chest
and now you're hoping that someone let's you in
well i sure'll let you in
you know that you're in
oh kelsey, you

so don't let anyone scare you
you know that i'll protect you
always all through the thick and thin
until the end
you better watch it
you know you don't cross it because
i'm always here for you
and i'll be here for you
(i know x3) i know how it feels believe me
i've been there
(i know x3) i know what it feels like
tell me kelsey

i'd swim the ocean for you
the ocean for you
whoa, oh kelsey
and i'd swim the ocean for you
swim the ocean for you
whoa, oh kelsey
yeah.

it's going to get harder
and it's going to burn brighter
and it's going to feel tougher each and every day
so let me say that i love you
you're all that i've ever wanted
all that i've ever dreamed of to come
and yes you did come
i want you so bad
can you feel it too?
you know i'm so, i'm so in love you
i want you for so much
i need you for so much
i need you, i need you, your touch

i'd swim the ocean for you
the ocean for you
whoa, oh kelsey


and you never (ever)
let me in (let me in)

Day and Night by Kid Cudi

Day and night (what, what)
I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind, mind (what, what)
I look for peace but see I don't attain (what, what)
What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play
Now look at this (what, what)
Madness to magnet keeps attracting me, me (what, what)
I try to run but see I'm not that fast (what, what)
I think I'm first but surely finish last, last

[Chorus:]
Cuz day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

[Kid Cudi:]
Hold the phone (what, what)
The lonely stoner, mr. solo doe low (what, what)
He's on the move can't seem to shake the shade (what, what)
Within his dreams he see's the life he made, made
The pain is deep (what, what)
A silent sleeper you won't hear a peep, peep (what, what)
The girl he wants don't seem to want him too(what, what)
It seems the feelings that she had are through, through

[Chorus:]
Cuz day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (yeah) (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his(yeah) mind at night (at, at, at night)

[Kid Cudi:]
Slow moe, (what, what)
When the temple slows up and creates that new, new (what, what)
He seems alive though he is feeling blue (what, what)
The sun is shining man he's super cool, cool
The lonely nights (what, what)
They fade away he slips into his white nikes (what, what)
He smokes a clip and then he's on the way (what, what)
To free his mind in search of,
To free his mind in search of,
To free his mind in search of,

[Chorus:]
day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

At, at, at night

Cemetery Drvie
My Chemical Romance

This night, walk the dead
In a solitary style
And crash the cemetery gates
In the dress your husband hates

Way down, mark the grave
Where the search lights find us
Drinking by the mausoleum door
And they found you on the bathroom floor

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

Back home, off the run
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun
Staring down a loaded gun

So I won't stop trying, won't stop dying
If you want, I'll keep on crying
Did you get what you deserve?
Is this what you always want me for?

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

When will I miss you, when will I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
Made it so hard

Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down

Way down...

friendly against ijc earlier today
we won 5-2
well done to those who scored :)

just watched this show about people who are as small as dwarfs.
and i thank God for how i am today.

thank you for taking time out to spend your day with me today
:)

i have got to do something with my life.

i cherish every moment that i spend with you.
today was just one of those days.
:)

felt really awful for not going training today
but wow the anti-depressant really works as a sleeping pill.
haha.