it has been a long time since i blogged.
and finally,
i found a need to do so.
i feel that i have to let it all out
instead of keeping it all inside.

i really want to change.
i hate waking up everyday just to feel worthless.
i hate finding a reason to live for.
i hate pretending to be happy when truthfully i am not.

i want a new beginning.
everyday i tell myself 'tomorrow' i will change.
i guess things do not work that way.
i have to start telling myself that today, on this very date, i will change.
i do not know why people think that people who are sad are those who attract attention. maybe the society should look at these people as those who NEED attention. as in seriously. sometimes people just want to be cared for.
nevertheless, i will make sure that i will change. i will make sure that relationships are not going to affect me.

all i am going to care about starting from now onwards is everything but love.
yes do that i shall.
i am SO sick of feeling lonely and wallowing in self-pity.
it isnt that great you know being in self-pity.
it only eats you up inside because you know that you are not allowing anybody to cheer you up but yourself. so its kinda pointless you know? people consoling you and all.

yes, i am going to change the way i am.
i am going to change my life.
i am going to be the HAPPIEST that i can be.

tell me how im supposed to breathe with no air.
if you aint here i just cant breathe.

if i should die before i wake its coz you took my breath away.